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You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool mom. She's pretty nice and she's pretty smart. You listen to her and you won't go far wrong.

Captain Penny

Tall and lanky host Ron Penfound could draw a slightly older crowd to WEWS each afternoon as railroader Captain Penny, thanks to the drawing power of his Three Stooges one-reelers. Since the Stooges drew wrathful mail from parents and teachers, the Captain always reminded kids not to imitate them—while always announcing them as "Larry, Curly, and Moe," an order that viewers who ventured beyond Cleveland were surprised to find was not a universal litany. He also hosted unpredictable animal segments featuring pets from the Animal Protective League ("Pooch Parade") and more exotic offerings from "Jungle Larry" Tetzlaff and his wife, "Safari Jane."

Youngsters knew the Captain's daily walkaway by heart: "You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool mom. She's pretty nice and she's pretty smart—you listen to her and you won't go far wrong."

Captain Penny showed Rocky & Bullwinkle, the Three Stooges and the Little Rascals... Jungle Larry would bring on his animals ... and every Christmas, from Halle's 7th Floor, Mr. Jing-a-ling. Captain Penny used to be sponsored by Bosco, and would stir up a glass every day. Remember when he would take that first sip and you'd hear that loud swallowing gulp sound that his microphone picked up? Do you remember the Clean Plate Club or the No-Scratch Club for when you had the Chicken Pox? Or Mr. Nickelsworth, the boom microphone that used to talk back and forth with him, and at the end of each show he always told us to "play safe." Mister Jing-a-ling, how you sing-a-ling, keeper of the keys, on Halle's 7th floor, we'll be looking for, you to turn the key. Keeping track of Santa's pack, and treasure house of toys, wind up things that Santa brings, to all the little girls and boys. Mister Jing-a-ling, how you ting-a-ling, with your many keys, on Halle's 7th floor, we'll be looking for you to turn the key.